Eat Turkey and Be Nice

One November morning a number of years ago, I was leading a chapel service at school. I asked if someone could tell me what they did at Thanksgiving. A little girl named Skyler raised her hand, and I called on her. "What do you do at Thanksgiving, Skyler?"

The first-grader's answer was succinct. In her pronounced southern drawl, she answered, "Ya eat turkey and be nice." I was struck with the thought that this may have been the most apt description I had ever heard of what most of us do at Thanksgiving.

Everyone has experienced this kind of Thanksgiving, haven't they? Some of us do it every year. You just go, or receive guests, whether you actually like them or not, grit your teeth, smile insincerely, and "be nice". Once after a family wedding, one of my sisters coommented about the newest member of the family, "Well, there's another person we don't like that we have to be nice to on major holidays." Somehow, I think the meaning of Thanksgiving has become lost in all of this.

I'm not suggesting, obviously, that we should be rude to anyone, or refuse to have certain people over for Thanksgiving. I'm not even suggesting that there isn't a place for the insincere smile and the reluctant hearty handshake. Certainly, nothing is accomplished or gained by hurting feelings or causing family disunity. What I am suggesting is that we stop looking at Thanksgiving as a pain-in-the-butt holiday where we have to be polite to people we don't care for, and start remembering what the purpose of the holiday is.

Anybody who goes shopping in America knows that the Christmas season now begins, at least in the commercial sense, at least two weeks before Halloween. Many may not know that Halloween itself is now second only to Christmas in terms of consumer spending. Somehow, Thanksgiving has become the day between these two big money-makers that gets largely lost. It isn't as easy as one might think to find a Thanksgiving centerpiece, say, or a pack of Thanksgiving plates or napkins. Halloween and, unfortunately, Christmas as well, have turned into major "gimmee" holidays. Gimmee some candy, gimmee some presents. Ever and always, we want more.

But what about what we already have? Arguably, I am the poorest person, financially, that I know. All my friends live in nicer houses than mine. Most of them can afford clothes that I can't. Some drive better cars, and many seem to have a whole lot more disposable income than I do (which isn't very hard, since my disposable income at the moment is, like, zero). However, I have long since ceased to feel any obligation to keep up with or impress anyone. If I want to compare my situation to somebody else's, there are plenty of people, here and abroad, who are a lot worse off than I am. So what if I can't afford the new sweater I want? I already have a lot of sweaters. Can't afford to go out to eat? I have plenty of food in my pantry. Can't afford a vacation? There are beautiful places with spectacular views and cheap fun within hours or less of my house.

Millions of people around the world went to sleep hungry last night. I didn't. Many, right this moment, are listening to the sound of gunfire nearby as war or civil unrest approaches their very doorstep. I am listening to music. Right now, there are people huddled in makeshift shelters trying to stay warm. My house ain't much, but I'm not freezing. I could go on for quite some time, but you get the picture.

God blesses some people more than others materially speaking, and I don't know why. I only know he loves each of us, and that I am more blessed than many people in regards to material wealth. So is anyone who is able to read this, I suspect.

So, when you're shaking the hand of the brother-in-law you can't stand, thank God for your marriage. When you are hugging the aunt whom you know, before the day is over, will have hurt someone's feelings, say a prayer of thanksgiving that you have food and enough to share. When you're slapping the back of the annoying neighbor you invited because you know he would be alone if you didn't, be grateful for your friends and your family.

So, yeah, eat turkey and be nice. It goes with the territory. But be thankful, too. When you say the blessing before the meal, don't just give a stock prayer. Think, really think, about what you have to be grateful for, and about the One to whom the gratitude is due. But be careful; the list, you will find, is very long. And nobody likes cold mashed potatoes.